Meet
the Outlaw

"Halt, villain rich! Your purse now I relieve!
For every stolen coin... mhhh... For every stolen coin... ten orphans live!
From avarice and greed, I shall free your heart!
And.... mhhh... Don't make any sound.... Not even a fart?"

Some high-pitched notes echoed in the night. Sitting cross-legged on top of a promontory, a silhouette dressed entirely in black was absentmindedly grazing a giqun with one hand, while the other was busy scribbling in a journal, illuminated only by the full moon. "No, I can't say that!... Can I? I shall free your heart... I shall free your heart... Don't call out the guards, that would not be smart! Hand over your gold, all your riches part! Yes! That's pretty catchy!". She continued to write down notes, occasionally looking at the narrow path below.

She'd been sitting there for a few hours now, preparing her ambush. Stacks of hay bales, sprayed with a flammable liquid and tied together, were piled nearby. Her previous days of surveillance had been successful. Every third day of the week, the Fan Manor was receiving late-evening deliveries of fresh and fine food: ducks, river fishes, Yinshan mushrooms, fruits, but also old wines, incense sticks and scented charcoal briquettes, porcelain and silk goods... Although selling stolen goods was more cumbersome than having gold directly, it was still a good opportunity as there was hardly any protection.

After putting her journal away, she pulled the guqin onto her lap and held a yellow tattered pamphlet. "I still have an hour or two before they arrive... Time to practise the Spectral Harpist Technique from Masters Jia Kang Xi and Fung Hak On! I really wonder if it's possible to make slicing blows with just sound... I've never heard of any martial artist using such a skill, nor have I ever seen the Masters perform it..."

Barely half an hour later, the clatter of hooves resonated through the mountain pass. Peeking at the path, she exclaimed, "Already?! 'They're ahead of schedule today!" She hastily moved towards the hay bales, set them alight and kicked them down the cliff. Large balls of fire soon began tumbling down the cliff, crashing and piling up on the path below.

"Today's weather forecast,
Rain of fire that should not last
Don't get your umbrella
It's also flammable, fellas!" she sang, playing a few notes on her instrument as she watched the convoy stop dead. Securing her instrument on her back and checking that her mask was still in place, she jumped down and slid on the gravel slope, brandishing a blade she pointed at the coachman.

"Halt, rich villain! Your purse now I relieve!
I... ... Euh... I'll get every coin or... I'll kick you in the groin!
Hand over your gold and... don't try to be smart!
... You...'re nothing but an old fart!" she proclaimed, improvising completely. Clearing her throat, she discreetly bit her lower lip. Caught off guard, her entrance wasn't as grandiose as she had planned but with enough confidence, she could still make it work.

"... ... Sorry, what?" the coachman answered, bamboozled.
- Oh... Hem... Sorry, my introduction was a bit confusing. Let me rephrase it: it's a robbery!" she said, swinging her blade. "Open the carriage and leave if you want to live!
- ... You heard that? This shǎ bī wants to rob us!" the man laughed, knocking on the carriage. Soon, two well-armored guards emerged, sneering. The robber blinked several times, her turn to be flummoxed.
"- Wait... Are you not the Fan House delivery coach?
- What nonsense are you babbling? How dare you attack the Prefect?! You jiàn nǚ rén! You're going to regret this!
- Ooooh snap! Wait! This is a misundert-ah!" The sounds of clashing swords filled the area. "Wait! It's- a- mist- take!" she panted, blocking each attack without retaliating.
"- Oh yes! It was a huge mistake to believe you could assassinate the Prefect so easily! When we're be done with you, you'll tell us who hired you!
- What? No! It's-
- If you don't want to speak, we have ways to loosen your tongue! HYA!"

The first guard dashed forward, his sword raised above his head. He swung it at the robber who had been mistaken for an assassin, only to find himself biting dust, caught off balanced by a low sweeping kick. His heavy colleague joined him soon after, falling on top of him and cutting off his breath on impact. In three long strides, the woman was already at the carriage door, rushing inside.

"Lao Shushu" she said, holding the terrified Prefect's hands in hers.
"Very sorry for the delay!
There's something on the way,
But your guards are on it -literally-,
I would love to stay but I need to flee!".

With a kick, she slammed the other door open and left through it, running at full speed until the coach was out of view. She continued running for several more minutes, frequently checking that she wasn't being followed. After a while, she stopped to catch her breath, hands on her knees. "Phew, that was close." Standing up, she opened the hand that she had kept clenched tightly throughout her run and examined the large rings that she had just stolen. "Weeell... That's not a complete disaster! It may even be m... mhh?"

She raised her head and looked at the carriage that had just stopped next to her. "You shouldn't be out alone at night, Xiaojie!" a young man told her. "There have been bandits roaming these areas lately. Do you want to hop in? I can drop you off in town. I'm heading to the Fan House to make a delivery." Her smile broadened. Brandishing her sword in a flourish, she declared :

"Halt, rich Samaritan! Your purse now is mine!
But... after that robbery, would you go in town to dine?"